44. Find Your Happy Place

What thoughts make you happiest?  Which places make you happy?  Do you have a space you can go to that makes you happy?  Find your happy place.  I have a selection of happy memories I can go visit anytime I want to.  A memory of holding my toddler on my lap and rocking her to sleep.  Memories of walking through the field behind my house where I grew up.  I walked through the field and woods with my dog almost every day in the summertime when I was a kid.  When I want to visit a happy place in my mind,  I remember my grandparents house.  I can remember every detail,  from the smell of motor oil wafting through the air as I would turn the brass doorknob to enter the garage,  to the smell of Wrigley’s peppermint gum filling the buffet cabinet where my grandmother kept her purse.  I can remember entering my grandparents house and I can remember the details of every room of their home,  the color of every wall,  and floor,  the sounds of the birds outside that I heard every morning when I woke up,  and the smell of every room.  What are your happiest memories?

Do you have a space in your house that makes you happy?  My chaise lounge chair is where I spend most of my time,  so I have around me some of my favorite things.   From my chair I can see the Jesus statue (my daughter calls him my Hippy Jesus, because his fingers are raised,  she thinks it looks like he’s giving the peace sign), that sat on my grandparents fireplace mantel as long as I can remember.  The clock that my grandfather made,  sits in front of me.  A few of my father’s,  and great grandfather’s marbles decorate the edge of my fireplace mantel.   I can see my bird feeders from my seat,  and the many beautiful birds that visit everyday.  Especially in the summer time,  with my windows open,  I can sit and watch and listen to them,  and smell the fresh air, and feel the warm breeze flowing through my room.  It is easy to be happy in the moment.  You should carve out at least one little corner of your home that you can go to and feel a sense of comfort,  and joy.

How about a song you love?  Or,  maybe music from a particular band or person.  Music has the power to make you almost instantly happy,  or sad,  depending on what songs you listen to,  and what they mean to you.

Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life. ~Berthold Auerbach

Everyone needs a happy place, or happy memory to think about when things aren’t going the way you would like them to.  A memory or place you can go that instantly brings you back into feeling happy,  or joyful.  To feeling good.  When you are having a bad day at work,  or whenever you are,  go somewhere private and think about your happiest memories.  They will make you forget about your problems for a few minutes,  and you will feel so much better.

 

 

 

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41. Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow

 

No matter what you are dealing with in your life,  money issues,  or health problems,  etc…   For those of you who had young children at the time you started on your series of unfortunate events (any Lemony Snicket fans out there), they probably provided you with all the reason you needed to fight the good fight.  Even if, like me, you had young children when you were diagnosed, you need to continue to find that energy and will to keep going as your children get older.  Those with children might be able to look forward to years with grandchildren.  But until then,  what will you do to stay busy and look forward to the future? 

It’s important to stay involved in life.  Find something to look forward to.  Whether it’s your child’s graduation day, watching a grandchild grow up, the next time your roses bloom, or just the next season of Orange Is The New Black, or Grey’s Anatomy (I could go on forever here).  Find something to look forward to, something you don’t want to miss.

Even though I, quite literally, almost can’t move a muscle (okay I admit, I can bend my thumb on my right hand), if it weren’t for me, many things wouldn’t get done around my house.  Even though I can’t physically do much,  I do a lot.  I can pretty much guarantee that the sheets on the bed would rarely be changed,  if I didn’t ask someone to do it.  No one would get a Christmas or birthday gift (well, maybe cash).  I am the one who pays all of our bills, online.  I also communicate with teachers, doctors, friends,  and family, with the help of my Tobii eyegaze computer system (Thanks Team Gleason).   I have hired housekeepers, online.  I make sure we don’t run out of toilet paper, and have food in the house.  I make travel arrangements.  I planned an entire trip to Ireland all online.  I garden and decorate my home.  Or, at least I get one of my unpaid children to do it.  I once organized (with some awesome  benefactors),  and raised money for a trip for a young Facebook friend of mine with ALS, to go to an IndyCar race in Long Beach.  I started this blog.  I could go on and on.  I find ways to stay involved with life, and find enjoyment in it,  no matter what health problems I might have. 

If you are going to have a reason to keep going, you are going to have to listen to your heart.  You need to enjoy life and have a passion to live it.  Life is all about having fun!  No one teaches you that in school.   If you aren’t having fun, sorry,  but you are doing it wrong.  For me, as my children got older and less of my time was spent concentrating on them, I was led to start writing down my thoughts.  A friend of mine, Sarah Ezekiel, was led to create beautiful artwork with only the use of her eyegaze computer system.  Whatever you find you have a passion for, go for it!   It only matters that you enjoy doing it.  You may find that your singing will make a baby cry, but if you enjoy it, go for it,  hit the karaoke club!  Just find something to keep yourself involved in life and thinking about and planning for tomorrow! 

40. Life Is Good

Life is good.  My life is pretty great,  except for that bothersome ALS  thing.  I have a wonderful husband,  who I’ve known for over half my life.  I have two great daughters,  and their boyfriends are awesome.  I have great families all in all, on all sides.  Not perfect,  but mostly great.

Life is good.  I always have enough money to do whatever I want (well, within reason).  And,  if I don’t have the money I need,  the Universe sends some my way in cash, or through some other means.  I mean, I doubt I could ever afford a mansion or a yacht or anything, but lucky for me, I don’t really want one.

Life is good.  I’ve inherited an appreciation for all things from Mother Nature.  Including everything with no more than four legs (eek!).  My grandfather was an excellent gardener,  and grew beautiful roses.   I would work in my yard/garden every day,  if I could.

Life is good.  Luckily I inherited an appreciation for the arts (both art and music),  and some artistic ability,  from both sides of my family.   I have a great-uncle who is a wonderful artist,  and who actually began a college of art.  He once owned one of the largest looms in existence,  and was going to give it to me,  but I had no room large enough for it!   I have famous musicians in my family.  They are awesome and I would say that at least one of them is maybe a little eccentric,  as most musicians are, which makes them even more cool.  I strive to be unique.  I hope one day someone,  somewhere will say, “Oh yea,  I remember her,  she’s sort of eccentric.”

Life is good.  My husband and I are at a point in our lives where we just do what we want.  We recently bought an RV,  and are going to start traveling anywhere and everywhere we can drive.  We started with a trip out West last year,  and we’re heading back there soon again this year.

That’s not to say that I don’t have bad days,  or that things don’t go wrong in my life.  If one thing,  like a furnace quits,  you can bet something else will quit too.  Recently,  our generator on the RV quit,  causing the cancellation of a month-long trip to Florida.  Soon after that our furnace quit,  and the transmission on the truck started giving out.  Everything all at once!  But,  I find something to be grateful for, and move on.  This time,  I was grateful that we were not in Florida when our furnace gave out in the middle of the winter.  It would’ve been disastrous to be gone,  probably returning to broken water pipes, and who knows what else.  We also happened to avoid some nasty tornadoes that hit the town in Georgia which we had planned to stay in on our way back from Florida.  Someone was looking out for us!  I think someone,  or a lot of someone’s,  know that I need all the help I can get,  and make sure I get it!

Life can be good,  no matter what is happening to you!  Nelson Mandela spent years in prison,  but managed to remain as content as he possibly could.  This poem by William Earnest Henley,  helped him face each new day with strength.

 Invictus

Out of the night that covers me, 
      Black as the pit from pole to pole, 
I thank whatever gods may be 
      For my unconquerable soul. 
In the fell clutch of circumstance 
      I have not winced nor cried aloud. 
Under the bludgeonings of chance 
      My head is bloody, but unbowed.  
Beyond this place of wrath and tears 
      Looms but the Horror of the shade, 
And yet the menace of the years 
      Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, 
      How charged with punishments the scroll, 
I am the master of my fate, 
      I am the captain of my soul. 

If you can forget about your problems for even a few seconds,  you will feel much better.  If you can forget for a few seconds,  you can change your outlook and your reaction.

“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” – Epictetus

If you need a little push in the direction of happiness,  you can always listen to a great song.  You can’t help but smile and forget about your problems for at least a couple of minutes,  when The Muppets from Sesame Street and The Roots are singing a song!  Life is good!